This entry is just to help reflect on my first two weeks at Kingston - the initiation of my Masters course in Music Composition. This is also my second ‘Freshers’ experience, and it does feel like I’ve done this all before. And where I should be focusing on the heap of work coming my way this month, I will ponder on good and unpleasant memories I’ve had here so far.
Monday 22nd September 2008Made my way to the bus stop, and as I went around the corner, there was a bus up ahead in traffic, so I thought I’d fast-walk my way to the next stop, but that didn’t work so I ended up walking past four stops and still waiting about half an hour for the next bus. I hate them so much!! I turned up late for meeting in the studio, with a large number of undergraduates turning up. As I walked in, clumsily, walked in front of everyone with my heavy bag, and made my way to a spare seat on the end. There was a lady introducing herself, and then a tall man with long curly grey hair and an eccentric sense of humour to match his comic appearance. Later on, I nervously I stated my name and my course pathway to a group that was so small in numbers it hardly required getting so worked up about at all. It makes me frustrated I can’t prevent my lack of self-confidence.
I saw a bit of the university band at the social event, and then looking for some solitude, I took off.
Waiting at the campus bus stop was probably the most defining moment of realisation of where I was and what stage I was occupying in my life. This undergraduate asks me what course I was doing and I said I was a postgraduate and he was somewhat impressed and afraid. The inevitable period of silence that followed made me think that people look up to me for how far I’ve reached to get where I am, just like I looked up to Masters students at Keele. I don’t realise it but it sometimes feels like I’m on top of this momentous pedestal and I don’t know how I got there until I realise I’m there, and it’s unbelievably terrifying. To think it took some people all the courage in the world to be where they want to be and to know it, I wish I could subconsciously comprehend I’m always on this pedestal, and instead of trying to keep my balance, I just reach for my goal.
In the afternoon I went to investigate the ‘fresher’s fayre’ and bought a beautiful ‘Japanese print’ poster to complement my love for all things oriental. I’m excited to join the Gamelan ensemble which will be every Friday afternoon – I would love to compose something for those instruments.
WednesdayAgain, I turned up late to the studio due to my bad luck with the buses. As I’m on this subject, travelling to and from Kingston seems like a hassle, considering the 2-hour via two buses and trains journey, but if I can take my mind off it by reading/listening to music, then I’ll get through these two years just fine. The unpredictable bus service is my only grievance at this moment, but a car to drive would be nice.
This morning I had a first taste of choir, and I’ve just learnt I will miss the next few weeks because of a module clash. As I walked in this time, the choir leader vented frustration at me in a comical way to make the others giggle, with: “Next time you turn up late at one of my practices, you will DIE!”
The social evening was also an awkward affair and rather unpleasant. I had a few minor ailments: hangnails, heartburn, wet feet, a persistent cough, sore cheeks, and a twitch on the bridge of my nose (felt more like a stress vein from smiling too hard). All of which seemed to augment the effort of meeting new people to seem even more discomfiting – as if it’s an easy thing to do! Due to my lack of voice projection, or basic social communication, I found myself on my own, staring at my cup of wine, so I didn’t stay long and left without saying goodbye.
On the train home I finished reading Atonement by Ian McEwan, and watching the film on Thursday night provided the impetus to write a hefty review of both the film and book. Here’s a random quote I rather liked: “A conscious mind is a river through time.”
ThursdayToday was a more proper introduction to the MA music course. And there was a bigger turn out of students on the course, mostly foreigners. I was punctual on this occasion. First there was a general talk about the pathways and an introduction to the lecturers and advisors. Then we were escorted to the library for a quick talk about the library’s resources. On the way there I spoke to a friendly Italian girl about my modules and started a PCs vs Macs argument with her.
Later in the evening was the social event for postgraduates which went down a bit better than the night before. I still need to work on my people skills and not laugh all the time. I spoke to a Mongolian/German girl who was very talkative and nice, a guy called Baz (I think) and some others.
Saturday/WeekendI met up with some friends in Keele. They’re really good company and make me feel comfortable. I felt somewhat nostalgic being back there, but the union is mostly the same, in regards to the music and endless queuing for horrible drinks! There is the addition of a cool chill out area in the back, and I was a bit surprised to see they’re dropping the Union Square for a social meeting place. That was a great bar. That was where I found my love for Magners, watched many Arsenal games, read books, and generally existed in my own little world. The only quarrel I could have that weekend was sleeping in Dave’s car, but it wasn’t too bad I suppose.
The return home journey was a nuisance. I had to get a coach from Stoke to Stafford, then a train from there. The confusion and anxiety failed to disappear that day, after seeing a swarm of police take over the road outside Stoke station to escort a bus-load of Stoke football ‘hooligans’.
First Week of October 2008This past week has been bitterly cold and windy, so I better start wearing my scarf and gloves from now on. A lot to take in as far as the modules are concerned. I need to begin setting deadlines for myself so I can be more organised and less stressed about the amount that needs done.
Two pieces of music on my mind lately: Vaughan Williams’ The Lark Ascending and Ravel’s Daphnis Et Chloe Suite No.2. The former is a wonderful piece of Englishness, and to coincide with finishing Atonement, I’ve been feeling a lot of Anglophilian pride lately. On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve also been lost in a magical fantasy with Ravel’s beautiful music. I also started reading Lord of the Flies by William Golding this week to take my mind of the numbness of reality. I’ve had enough hearing about failing economies and dramatic election run-ins.
Friday was a repeat of that cold January night in London in the hope of seeing Radiohead at Rough Trade/93 Feet East. This time it was TV On The Radio at the Cargo, as part of the Concrete & Glass event – oh yeah! I won tickets for this! So there we are; my brother and I, waiting in the 1000-strong queue trying to get into a 400 capacity venue in the blistering cold, and we finally give in after an hour. Oh well... Never again will I underestimate the popularity of a big band playing in London again... I’m just going to get there early and not rely on hope that there won’t be long queues because there will always crowds. One thing that made the evening quite memorable for me was when we were walking down Old Street, and passing a kebab shop there was one of the European chefs furiously banging on the window at us, trying to convince us to get a take-away. I was scared he may’ve chased us down the road.
So, finally, this weekend I will get some water babies for my fish tank. I don’t really know what to expect, how long they’ll last, or what creatures I’ll end up bringing home. It’s not going well so far, with the pump not working – I must have some sort of curse with aquariums.
Over and out.
